Heavenly Humbling Homemade Olive Oil Mayo

Is it just me or do you sometimes get the feeling the angels are laughing at you?
"Silly human"

Last year I made my very first batch of Olive Oil Mayonnaise and planned on blogging about how simple and easy the recipe is. It's so easy and so good, in fact, that some restaurants make their mayonnaise in-house and you know how busy a restaurant kitchen is. It really is that simple and quick. In theory, anyway. That blog post never materialized. All I managed was this. (I was in a bit of a mood.) The mayonnaise was a disaster. Turns out I'd done everything right and still had a mess of inedible gloop in the end. Life's like that. It's just a little reminder that no matter what I think, I'm not in charge of things.

Since I don't like those little reminders, I don't usually take them lying down. I guess it's a holdover from my unrepentant heathen days that I hold onto the illusion that if I can plan things out to the last detail, everything will be fine. God knows better. Let's just say that He tosses me friendly and frequent reminders of who He is when I start to puff up with ignorant importance. This was one of those reminders. After the failure, I hunted around to find out what went wrong. As it turns out, olive oil can not be whipped with a metal utensil without sometimes developing a flat metallic taste. Sometimes. (?)(!)(...) I tried it with a wooden spoon and it turned out well. Then I tried it with plastic. Fine again. Then I tried it again with the metal and that was fine, too. Then I ran out of eggs. So I had to accept that sometimes using metal on mayo would make a mess and sometimes it wouldn't. Oh fine, then. 

So, let's get that straight before you start: use a metal whisk at your own risk. No matter what it tastes like, the mayo will turn out a bright yellow due to the egg yolks. If you find the idea of yellow mayo hard to stomach, I'm sure you could use only egg whites, but you may need to add an extra egg or two, maybe three. Let me know if you fiddle with this and how it turned out. I don't want to be the only lonely silly human around the place.

Enjoy!

Olive Oil Mayonnaise (Revised)

1 egg white, room temperature (the fresher the better)

1 Tbs vinegar or lemon juice
1 cup olive oil (have 1/4 cup ready in reserve)

salt to taste (try starting with 1/4 tsp)

Whip yolk, salt, and vinegar, and slowly add half of your oil. Then whip in remaining oil. It will begin to pull away from the bowl when it is thick enough. If too thick, add water by the drop. 

Use in the same way you always use mayonnaise. 

"Lent? Yuck!" Cooking up a metaphor

Today a friend made a soup disaster. I shared a spice guide with her. It didn't help the soup but it helped her get intrigued by cooking again.

What fascinates me about cooking is how much it is like life. Think metaphorically with me here and I promise to pull it together at the end...Sometimes you make a mess that you are stuck with eating because you've used up all your time and energy making the gloop and there just isn't anything left to do but eat it. I made a fondu (fond glue) like that once. By the time I was done ruining the dinner I had hours of scraping ahead of me.

Other times you take one bite and decide that you just couldn't possibly be that hungry. "No thank you, I'm having water! Mmmm!" Putting up with me and some of my great ideas is just more punishment than doing without. Those are the creations that even the dog shies away from with that peculiar doggy look of "I'm not even rolling in that!"

Yes, indeed, the kitchen will humble us and make our families grow in holiness. "I don't care what it tastes like! Offer it up!" (Yes, I really said that and no I couldn't take myself seriously after that. We ate cereal instead.) Just when you think you've got things in hand, along comes a meal so bad it makes it to the family legend stage. "Remember that time mommy melted the spoon in dinner?" (true story) It all seems so simple. Put in ingredients in the right order, the right amounts, add heat and it is good, right? In theory, yes. In reality sometimes even scrambled eggs can be beyond me (shells, rubbery, bland).

But, hey, even when the last meal was bad, you gotta eat. Just like life will keep on chugging along, there's always another meal coming around. You can start over three times a day, not counting snacks.

So, now that you are past the fun, adventurous stage of Lent, now that your penance is actually starting to grind at you a bit, now that you've had three feasts right in a row to break both your fast and your penance rhythm, and now that you're seriously considering giving up on giving up something for Lent, I'm here to remind you cheerfully that yes, you are a failure. Me, too. We all are going to suck at most things at least some times. Even eggs. In life the difference between a good cook and a bad one is that the good ones learn from their mistakes and try again.

Spicing issues? Try it the Vegan Way!
(no, actual children were harmed in the writing of this blog)

Get cooking. And for fun, try out some of these spice combos. From Compassionate Cooks (Vegans).

 Which Spices/Herbs to Use

How many of us have spice racks with jars of spices we bought years ago and never used, whose sole purpose is to collect the dust in your kitchen? J Now is the time to dust them off (or replace them) and start adding flavor to your dishes. The correct spice or herb (whether it is fresh or dried) for any food is the one that tastes right for you. When you're at a loss about what to add to a dish, try something from the list below.

WHICH SPICE GOES WITH WHAT FOOD?

Beans - cumin, cayenne, chili, oregano, parsley, pepper, sage, savory, thyme

Breads - anise, basil, caraway, cardamom, cinnamon, coriander, cumin, dill, garlic, lemon peel, orange peel, oregano, poppy seeds, rosemary, saffron, sage, thyme

Fruits - allspice, anise, cardamom, Chinese 5-spice, cinnamon, cloves, coriander, ginger, mint

Potatoes - basil, caraway, celery seed, chervil, chives, coriander, dill, marjoram, oregano, paprika, parsley, poppy seed, rosemary, tarragon, thyme

Salads and Salad Dressings - basil, caraway, celery seed, chives, dill, fennel, garlic, horseradish, lemon peel, lovage, marjoram, mint, mustard, oregano, parsley, rosemary, sumac, tarragon, thyme

Soups - basil, bay, chervil, chili, chives, cumin, dill, fennel, garlic, marjoram, parsley, pepper, rosemary, sage, savory, star anise, thyme

Sweets - allspice, angelica, anise, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, fennel, ginger, lemon peel, mace, nutmeg, mint, orange peel, rosemary, star anise

Tomatoes - basil, bay, celery seed, cinnamon, chili, curry, dill, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemongrass, marjoram, oregano, parsley, rosemary, savory, tarragon, thyme

Vegetables - chili, chives, curry, dill, marjoram, parsley, savory, thyme

WHICH SPICE/HERB GOES WITH WHAT FOOD?

Allspice: An ingredient in many baked goods as well as "Jerk" sauces.

Anise Seed: Mild licorice flavor, used in cookies, or candies.

Arrowroot Powder: Use as a thickener in puddings, pies, soups, sauces, and gravies.

Basil: used in Italian and Mediterranean cooking, especially good with tomatoes.

Bay Leaves: Perfect use in stews, sauces, soups, and marinades.

Caraway Seeds: Great in baked goods and with fruits.

Cardamom, ground: A wonderful addition to Indian dishes.

Cardamom, whole: Dry roast the whole cardamom seeds for more flavor in your recipe.

Cayenne Pepper: Wonderful heat for any Mexican dish.

Chervil Leaf: Similar to parsley, a mild flavor for any meat, soup or vegetable dish.

Cilantro: Used in Mexican cooking & salsas; may also be used in Indian dishes.

Cloves, ground: Popular in desserts, syrups, and sweet vegetable dishes.

Coriander seed, ground: Citrusy, sweet & tart flavor to be used at the end when cooking.

Cream of Tartar: Adds consistency and stability to any cookie or cake.

Cumin Seed, ground: Wonderful with tomato dishes, chili, salsa & Indian dishes.

Dill Weed: Great in dressings and sauces and on potatoes.

Ginger, crystallized: Sliced ginger partially dried in a sugar syrup solution. For sweets.

Ginger, ground: A sharp, aromatic spice is used in many sweet baked goods and curries.

Lemongrass: A grass with citric oils, very popular in Thai cooking.

Marjoram: Like oregano & from the mint family, it has a sweeter and subtler taste.

Nutmeg, ground: A sweet, nutty spice is used in custards, pastries, and vegetables.

Oregano, Greek: A must for Italian cooking, Greek oregano has a mild, delicate flavor.

Oregano, Mexican: Slightly stronger than Greek and less sweet, used in Spanish cooking.

Paprika, hot: Mixed with cayenne, these red peppers make the Hungarians famous.

Paprika, sweet: This sweet, milder Paprika will add radiant color to any dish.

Parsley: This versatile herb can be used as a garnish or with anything other than sweets.

Poppy Seeds: Used in baked goods, breads & to flavor noodles.

Rosemary, ground: Use ground in sauces or stocks to avoid the "needle" look.

Saffron, whole threads: Use for saffron rice and Indian dishes.

Sage: Well known for use in stuffings.

Salt, Kosher: Coarser than regular granulated, easier to control in cooking.�

Savory: Strong, peppery taste, good with veggies & stuffing.

Sesame Seeds: Used mostly for baking breads & rolls, nice for stir-frys.

Spearmint: A popular tea flavoring, used in sauces and veggie dishes.

Tarragon: Aromatic herb used to flavor vinegar, dressings, breads. Great with potatoes!

Thyme, ground: Great for Greek & Italian cooking, use ground for sauces & soups.

Thyme, whole leaf: Versatile in flavoring veggies, pizza, stews & herb blends.

Turmeric: Used as a natural yellow coloring for soups, sauces, rice, curry, & tofu scramble.

TIPS FOR USING SPICES/HERBS

STORING

• Store spices in a cool, dark place. Humidity, light and heat will cause herbs and spices to lose their flavor more quickly. Although the most convenient place for your spice rack may be above your stove, moving your spices to a different location may keep them fresh longer.
• As a general rule, herbs and ground spices will retain their best flavors for a year. Whole spices may last for 3 to 5 years. Proper storage should result in longer freshness times.
• Because the refrigerator is a rather humid environment, storing herbs and spices there is not recommended. To keep larger quantities of spices fresh, store them in the freezer in tightly sealed containers.

USING

• For long-cooking dishes, add herbs and spices an hour or less before serving. Cooking spices for too long may result in overly strong flavors.
• Use restraint! In general, � teaspoon of spice is enough for 4 servings.
• Do not use dried herbs in the same quantity as fresh. In most cases, use � the amount in dried as is called for fresh.
• Seasoning food is an art, not a science. Experimenting with herbs and spices can be fun and educational, and while you may occasionally be eating a less than perfect dish, you may also end up creating that recipe that will become a classic in your household.

Random Cooking Tips

Tip #1
On the off chance you are making muffins in the near future, here's a tip. If you don't have enough batter for a full batch, fill the remaining muffin spots halfway with water. This helps the muffins bake evenly. I'm guessing it has to do with the way heat conducts, but I'm not sure. I just know it works, especially in an oven (like mine) that has hot spots.

Tip #2
We've all been mid-way through a recipe and found that we were low on an ingredient and must make a substitution. Be sure to jot it down. If you ran low of sage and decided to go with cilantro instead it's good to record if it turned out well. That's how recipes are improved upon. Don't depend on your memory. A year from now you'll remember that you substituted something green for the sage and might pull out the parsley instead. Speaking of, I note the disastrous substitutions, too. I make a frowny face next to the note. I don't want to repeat my mistakes, after all. I make enough of those the first time around.

7 Quick Takes Friday

http://www.conversiondiary.com/2010/10/7-quick-takes-friday-vol-101.html

We've got one dog, one cat, five chickens, three goats, and five kids ages 6, 5, 4, 3, and 2. We're a loud bunch. Here's a random take on some of the things cooked up at my house:



1

One of my personal food quirks is that I don't care for spaghetti. Everyone else on the planet seems to love it. I don't hate it or anything, I'd just rather have pretty much anything else. The odd thing about this is, I can make a wicked good sauce by all accounts.

2

One of the many dishes I can't seem to master is fried rice. I'm a pretty decent cook, but for some reason I just can't get beyond a "meh" response to my fried rice.









3

Here's what I've learned to take the fight out of meals. Present a few options at dinner: main course, two veggies, a starch and then let them pick and choose. If they don't like this, they've got that on their plate to eat. No battles, no stress. Our table rules are simple: Be polite (saying, "Yuk!" is not polite) and although you don't have to eat anything you don't like, there's no dessert if you don't at least take a taste of everything.


Parents worry a lot about what their kids will and won't eat. Over the course of a few days if you keep presenting the four food groups in various ways, they'll balance their choices. If you don't believe me, get a blood panel done--I've got an autistic son who I check periodically, so yes, I'm speaking from bitter experience.

4

Speaking of "Yuk!" why do some people not believe that some other people can actually not like a food? I knew this little old lady who was almost offended by my casually mentioning that I don't care for beets. She seemed to think that if I just tried hard enough I could overcome my little problem. It got so that every time I had to eat socially with her she had made a brand new beet dish just for me. We had many discussions about beets. I tried to explain to her that my dislike of beets is not voluntary, neither was it stubbornness. They simply taste like bitter, slimy dirt to me, and I am a little sorry for that, yes. Truly. Although I was flattered that she actually thought so much about me when I wasn't around, I wondered at her persistence. It got to the point that my mouth would start to water at the sight of her and not in a good way.

5

 Some days I love to cook and spend the whole day at it. I dirty nearly every dish and pan and make a symphony of my kitchen tools. Other days I begrudge the knife and spoon it takes to slather on the peanut butter and jelly for sandwiches.

6

Speaking of kitchen messes two of my daughters (ages 4 and 3) decided to help me with the dishes. Two hours later they were still working away. The dishes were no cleaner, the counter was soaked, and that cheap calculator my husband got from the bank was lost at sea, but I can now say with relative certainty that they do not have any attention deficits.

7

When inspiration fails, breakfast for dinner is always a good idea. Waffles anyone?

Texas Lasagne

One of the things I can not cook is traditional lasagne. Everyone seems to have a "fool proof" recipe to share, and I prove to be the fool every time. So, here's a recipe I've developed out of self-defence. It's gluten-free, too, so I can salvage my dignity. *sniff*

Texas Lasagne

1 chub of sausage (or 1 pound ground beef)
1 pound (about 2 cups) of ricotta cheese
2 eggs
1 small onion diced (optional)
1/2 bell pepper diced (optional)
1 1-ounce package taco seasoning mix
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes, do not drain
1 15 ounce can tomato sauce
1 4 ounce can chopped green chiles
7 corn tortillas cut into 1 inch strips
4 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese

In a large skillet, brown the meat. Add the onions and diced bell peppers when about halfway done and continue browning. In a small bowl, beat the eggs and then add the ricotta cheese. Drain the excess fat from the meat, add the taco seasoning, tomatoes, tomato sauce and chilies. Mix well. Simmer, uncovered for 15 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 13x9x2 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. Layer half of the meat sauce, half of the tortilla strips, half of the ricotta cheese mixture, and half of the shredded cheese. Repeat layers. Cook uncovered at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Cook Ahead Hint
Since you are messing up the kitchen anyway, go ahead and get out another 13x9x2 inch baking dish and double the recipe. Bake one and eat it tonight. Freeze the other uncooked. Cover it with heavy duty aluminum foil, write "Texas Lasagna" on the foil in big letters and the date you prepped it, and tah-dah! You've just planned ahead and made some future moment easier on yourself with minimal effort today. Then you get to do a little dance in your smarty pants. Whoot!