Showing posts with label Wife is a verb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wife is a verb. Show all posts

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Household Bill Binder Filing System: I gave up files and it worked

My filing systems prior to 2013 involved file folders, filing cabinets, and boxes. Despite all my resolutions, my foreknowledge of the consequences, my various talents, and my best intentions, my system inevitably resulted in nearly empty files and overwhelmingly overflowing piles. Every March my neat inbox tray from January had morphed into a monster pile of paid bills, unpaid bills, incoming mail, warranty information, articles my husband brought home from work, receipts, bank statements, cute kid drawings, and the like.
A photographic interpretation of my desk in midsummer.

This mess would be swept into a large cardboard box at random intervals throughout the year whenever my husband despaired of seeing my desktop ever again or when out of town company was expected. Every year it was the same blasted story: after a spate of filing in January and on a good year even into February, I wouldn't file regularly and I would simply sort through and file a bunch of papers around April when the tax bug hit and around September when the desire to start the school year with a clean slate would also hit.

An abstract art representation of my old filing system.

September 2012, after nearly 13 years of failing at filing, I looked up from my pile of sorting on the floor in my kitchen and finally admitted to myself that filing was not something I would ever do. Though I could file I tended not to file. That was simply that. I needed a new system. I needed something I would actually do. After an entire day digging myself out of my paperwork mess one last time (I vowed), I did a quick Pinterest search for something that would help me with the tendency to do this...

Still not my desk from that era, but an actual pile in progress here.(Do you seriously think I would photograph that old mess?)

I found something promising but I didn't want to make much fanfare over the new system until I actually tried it out for a year. Well, yesterday I cleared out my binder from 2013 and I am all set to begin working on totaling the exemptions for my 2013 taxes whenever I wish. This is the first time in…um…ever that I have been able to put my hands on an entire year's worth of tax exempt receipts without digging through a box first.

The only variation on the system is that though I filed my medical invoices in the binder, the little medical and prescription receipts were filed away in a Ziplock baggie tacked up on the inside of a closet door. They are all there, ready to be taken out and totaled! It's January and I am not staring at a pile or a box or a mess.

Let me say further that the system worked despite the fact that by August I got a bit lazy with it. Any system that doesn't spiral into disaster but continues to function relatively well even when the user doesn't follow it religiously is a system indeed.

So, after a year of using it, I'm ready to share the system and a photo of my desk.

My desk and inbox this very day!
(I moved the inbox so you could see it.)
Remember as you gaze upon my mess…
  • I haven't really filed since August.
  • I haven't paid my bills yet.
  • I need to enter last month's receipts into the register.
  • This is as messy as it ever gets!

I would never share a photograph my desk from a year ago--in fact I never even took a picture of it--but here is my proof that the system works. Interested in looking into it? Well, here is a teaser of the page and system. Click the title to visit the blog, Echoes of Laughter to learn more.

The Absolute Easiest Way To Track, Pay & Organize Your Household Bills...No Filing Involved!



For years, I kept our household bills filed in file folders in a file box..... just like hundreds of other people.
Let me also confess that I have gone through periods in my life where bills were 'filed' in a grocery bag hanging on the back of the bedroom door. 
Yep. Sad but true.
I have seen many examples of how to organize & 'file' bills around blogland lately.
But I want to share with you a different way.
 Two years ago I switched to this method...and I like it much better.
And here's another dirty little secret about me....although I love to organize... I HATE, with a capital 'H',  filing!
I like not having to go through different files to find things or put them away.
This system helps me avoid that!
Let me introduce the Household Bill Binder.
It's a simple method..... it's fast and it works.
I just get out the binder when I am ready to sit at the computer to make on-line payments with our bank.
And then I put the binder away. No filing!
***


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

3 Reasons You Should Schedule Date Nights (A Post a Day #3)

As is my usual I'm going to write on how I get it wrong so that you can get it right. One of the many ways I tend to take my marriage for granted is by shirking our Date Night.

We have endless reasons for not scheduling in a Date Night. Here are the top three...

#1  We can't afford it. Seriously, after paying for a babysitter, gas to get to town, and then dinner, we're looking at a considerable investment of family resources in order to go out each week. Instead of trying to find cheap date ideas, we tend to chuck the whole plan.

#2 We don't have the time. Like everyone, we're over committed and over stressed. By the time we get around to even thinking about going out, we're exhausted. Again, instead of looking at this time as a chance to recharge and reconnect, we tend to skip out.

#3 We take it and each other for granted. If we happen to find ourselves alone on the odd trip to the grocery store, we count it as our date. Yeah, we really do.

As Sheila Wray Gregoire over at To Love Honor and Vacuum puts it:

Your marriage is the best weapon you have in your arsenal to get through life. It is marriage that makes us feel like we can take on the world.

So why wouldn't my husband and I invest the time and money in keeping connected? It's just that if we aren't careful we take the easy way out. In other words, it's easier to take one another for granted than it is to actually and purposefully cherish one another.

Here's 3 Reasons to Stop Making Excuses and Get Out There and Flirt in Public



#1 You can't afford not to. There is too much at stake to risk losing touch. Your spouse is the most important person in your life, second only to God. At the very least, investing the time and some of your finances in a weekly date proves the priority. We value what we invest in. That can be read in two ways. When we value something we put our time and money into it. In the other sense, once we have invested time and money into something, it increases in value in our hearts and minds. We're just funny that way. Prove to yourself how much you need and desire each other by putting your precious time and money toward something you truly consider precious, each other.

#2 It's a great way to reset. Parenting, working, housekeeping all take their tole on our psyches. Life makes big demands. In order to meet those demands, you and your honey have to be on top of your game. A date is a great way to recharge your batteries. Flirting, laughing, even a simple change in surroundings and a chance to breathe without the demands of home and children for an hour or two will restore you both. You will be reconnected and better able to present a united front to the challenges of every day. Also, the break will give you a chance to catch your breath and catch up a bit. There's nothing quite like a good laugh and some hand holding to remind you of how cute that fella of yours is.

#3 It's fun! Who doesn't need the fun! The kids will tease you about wanting to go, but deep down they are excited that their parents are still in love enough to date. It's all part of the married couple dating ritual. Enjoy that, too. On the date, you will laugh. He will make eyes at you. You might even...you know. Every day you face the world together, life's a struggle. To be able to face it together, it is paramount that you also get a chance to relax and let your hair down together. He's a great guy. Take a break each week to remind yourself of how great. Have fun with that man of yours.  You won't regret it!

Here's some cheap date ideas over at Focus on the Family. I think I want to try that one where you don a fake accent for zee een-ti-yurrr date-uh!

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This has been a Wifey Wednesday post. For an even Wifey-er Wednesday, click on through to To Love Honor and Vacuum.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Keeping It Clean Part II: Keep Keeping It Clean and Consequences

Here's the bad news about yesterday's "Keeping It Clean in 4 Easy (Enough) Steps" post: you have to build about 6 weeks of momentum before the temptation to quit stops stopping you. Oh, and here's worse news: any early successes were a big part of my temptations to quit. Success didn't breed success. If you are anything like me, you will love getting the plan together and enjoy the process of putting your aspirations to paper. You might even get a few days into the implementation of the plan, see neatness and order begin to emerge from the clutter, and find that the little bit of success is so inspiring you will think to yourself, "Wow, would you look at that counter! It's CLEAN! Was this a smart thing for me to do, or what?! I'm AWEsome! AAAAAaaaand I'm done. I never ever want to do this again."

Yes, indeed, that little bit of accomplishment satisfied me just enough that I was ready to move on to something else. Human nature. It's just so annoying sometimes.

Fear not, my friends, I am here to tell you that housework is just like dieting. You are going to clean and reclean the same mess you keep making just like you lose and relose those same 10 pounds!

Yuppers, that's how that's probably going to work. This is where that die to self, pick up your cross, and offer it up Catholic pep talk would come in awfully handy, but I just got tired, demotivated, and uninspired remembering that in a few short hours I have to start cleaning again. Again. 365 days each cyclical year (minus Sundays). Ugh.

There's a reason they call it housework and not something fun like...uh...chores...or, um...drudgery...*scowl*...

(You may quit reading now...)

Really, it's like that. You know it is. Do it anyway. Take one for the team. Be a saint. Yadda yadda. Play the tape. When you mess up, start over. Whatever you do to motivate you when you fall down or quit, do that and get the ball rolling again. And again. It's likely going to stop a few (thousand) times before it's really running well.

...Hello?...

Ah, you're back. Okay, then, you've rallied and are ready to read on. So, then, right about here, when you've mustered your resolve and thought, "It'll be hard but I can do this!" you are going to remember that you have to keep those kids of yours motivated, too. But, if you think about it, if YOU don't want to do it, how much less are those semi-socialized little people who live in your house going to be motivated to do it? You're going to have to think of a way to keep you all at it until the routine builds up enough momentum that it starts to become a routine. Then you will have to manage to keep your temper, your perspective, and your sense of humor while doing it.


"She wants a clean house, boys! GET HER!"

It's Tougher Than You Think. In Fact, This Is War!
Remember that virtues are habits of doing good. In this case you are working not on your house but on the Cardinal Virtue of Diligence. Satan hates that. He's going to throw everything at you to keep you from making the effort in the first place. You and all your well known flaws are the first thing he will throw at you. Your kids and their quirks that accuse you of your own shortcomings come flying at you next. Then he'll toss in any flaws in your parenting. After that he'll have to get creative enough to give you the flu. Twice. Just brace yourself because...well, it's warfare. Remember that whole spiritual warfare business they scared you with in Sunday School? Deciding to do this type of thing as a service to your God and your family draws attention. It's like getting a promotion in the field of battle.The enemy can see clearly see your shiny new officer insignia and will aim right at them until they become dull and banged up enough to either kill you and your efforts or to stop attracting so much notice. Why bother then? Why tell you right up front that it's too hard? Because this is good, the less you want to do it the better it is for you and your soul if you do it anyway. Satan is going to thwart you in every step of doing this because he knows that once a habit gets to the auto-pilot stage, most of the battle is over.

Now, you know it, too.

It'll get easier. Can you hang onto that? The first six weeks are the hardest. Then the auto-pilot starts kicking in and success will build on success and you'll get to the point where you will get up off your flu-ridden-deathbed for the 45 minutes it takes to do the house. Why? Because it's just easier that way.

Until then, though, let me help you get around some of the pitfalls that are going to be dug for you.

6 weeks. Remember that. Don't forget to pray. Pray before you open your mouth to address any problems. Pray before you start your day or your timer. Pray a lot. You'll need the backup.

Consequences: You have to have them.

Consequences come in two forms: positive and negative.

Negatives 
Like every system in life, the system works but the people won't. Ah, concupiscence! How we loathe, thee. I have to admit, I'm one of the worst offenders around here for daily malingering.

I'm going to quote myself, "The kids have their list and I have mine and nothing...nothing at all...happens until those things are done. No snacks, no toys, no radio, no games, no TV time. Nothing. Nada. Zip." Not only do we not allow for interruptions of any sort during the 45 minutes, one of the consequences of not doing your work is that...nothing...happens. If my preschooler comes up and says, "I'm thirsty!" during our 45 minutes, I say, "You can get a drink when the timer rings." By the same token, if the 45 minutes are over and the jobs haven't been done, when a child asks for juice, I say in the most sympathetic Mom voice I have managed to cultivate in my 9 years of experience, "Oh, sorry! You didn't do your chores today. You have to have water."

By the way, my kids hate when I apologize and nod at them.

Do you get it, though? Nothing happens. Whatever they ask for, whatever you see them doing that is fun or interesting that isn't school related, that's what gets nixed. "Oh, sorry! You didn't finish in time, so no Legos today" or "...no wearing pink today" or "...no music during coloring today." You can just fill in that blank as the opportunity arises.

In addition to that technique, you'll need a few back ups. I have a list of privileges that I've got stuck on my bulletin board, so I don't have to think much on my feet. On it is stuff you wouldn't normally consider a privilege but won't kill anyone to do without for a day or so, like...


  • wearing your favorite color
  • using your favorite cup
  • picking your outfit (yes, I make them change clothes)
  • Legos
  • Computer Time
  • TV
  • dessert (some days the only reason we even had a dessert was just so someone could miss out on it: my husband loves those days)
  • Big Kid bedtime

By the way, have some fun generating this list with your husband when the kids are in bed tonight. "Hey, honey? You want to plan some Godzilla Parenting? Mwhahaha!" (That'll teach those kids not to get out of bed and listen in on Mommy and Daddy time ever again, won't it?)

Okay, so you've drunk a glass of wine with your husband and giggled your way through generating a list of 10 or so privileges to hang on the wall. Now you find yourself three days into the routine, eyeball to eyeball with a rebel who has determined to draw the line at socks. He will never, ever, ever pick up a sock and you are a bad person for even daring to utter that s-word in his presence. What do you do? It's simple enough, you just go to the list and jot little Paul Revere's name down next to #1. That becomes a revoked privilege until something improves.

"Well, the sock gambit backfired. How else can I get out of this mess?"


Oh, and no disrespect allowed. At all. Period. Even a disrespectful gleam in the eye needs to be nipped in the bud. Let's take a metaphor from the blog's garden-related title here: Weeds are easy to yank out when they are seedlings, but allow anything to take root and you are going to need gloves and a shovel. Behavior is the same way. So, while you are working on housecleaning, you can work on nipping backtalk in the bud at the same time. (Really, what else is this woman going to add to her endless lists!!!) It's a simple fix. When they make a face at you over their name going on the list, nod and say sympathetically, "Oh, sorry. A bad attitude loses another privilege," while marking their name next to #2. Easy.

Well, except for the whole Biblical "wailing and gnashing of teeth" routine you are going to get while they test the system. You don't have to be Super Mom for this to work. You just have to be a fraction of a second more stubborn than any one of them. You have the advantage there. Your stubborn has 20 years more experience behind their stubborn. Just remember, nod and say, "Oh, sorry," a lot.

They hate that.

Nip It In the Bud: Their Future Co-Workers and Spouses Will Thank You
We are all responsible for learning how to maintain a clean house and we are all responsible for doing our work without adding to any one else's job by being a pain in the bohonkus, so yes, I hold them and myself responsible for not griping. In fact, I have a phrase, "School your face!" that the kids hear or even say to me (no, they can't say it to each other). It means that they and I must wear either a pleasant or a neutral expression during that 45 minute time frame. That may sound silly or even over-the-top outrageous, but we discovered it was necessary when we spent a week or more of chaos and breakdown when the scowls led to complaints, led to squabbles, led to kids hitting and screaming and mom yelling and reprimanding. This system is based on a "nip it in the bud" philosophy. All the jobs are designed to nip clutter in the bud, and all outward displays of inner attitudes are designed to nip conflict in the bud, too. If any one of us isn't happy, there's 23.25 other hours left in the day to show it, discuss it, and deal with it, so just school it!

Where Were We?
We're getting a little long here, so let's review just a bit. Don't nag, don't beg or plead. (In fact, this whole system works better if you maintain a neutral attitude and don't add the incentive of "getting Mommy's goat" to the temptation to misbehave.) If the work isn't done when the timer rings, nothing happens until it gets done. nothing...nothing at all....

The negative consequences grow out of the situation at hand or a name is simply placed next to a lost privilege, like "Favorite Color" (wearing it or using it to color with) or "Computer Time" (sorry you have to use this heavy and voluminous Encyclopedia for that research today) or "Recess Fun" (your recess is going to have to be dusting the coffee table) or "TV" (while we get to watch the video, you have to finish your job. See you when you're done!). Then, if the job doesn't get done by the end of the day, the next day is a "Blackout" and all privileges from the list are revoked. There's no fuss, no muss, and any undo whining or complaining (the early stages of backtalk and rebellion) gets your name placed further down the list.

Your children will pull together to get the job done:
the job of organized rebellion!
We don't add time to our timer when one particular child (or mom) is feeling particularly naughty and wants to test the system (it happens). It goes off and we move on to our very next thing. For our family it's Homeschool Time, and while everyone is getting their pencils, a malingerer's name goes on the privileges list, sometimes pretty far down the list until their job is done. And after that timer goes off, the job has to be done on their free time because work time ran out. It's a simple system. 

Until the job is done...that phrase brings us to the next category of consequences...


Positive Consequences
Repentance, a return to polite cheerfulness, zealously re-attending to duties earns back a privilege. Reward any steps in the right direction! Hug, smile, and brag on any child who repents. Cheerfully and theatrically erase that name from your privileges list. Make it very clear that you've been waiting, practically hovering, ready to pounce on them with praise and restored goodwill. Get just as creative in giving back imaginary privileges as you are in taking them away. Make as big a deal as possible as you pull a 2 liter bottle of generic root beer out of a bag. "You know, guys, I hadn't planned on getting soda when I ran in to Wal-Mart this afternoon, but I remembered how quickly your brother turned his attitude around this morning. It was so impressive that when I passed the soda aisle, I decided we could all use a little treat in his honor."

You get the picture. I'm talking bribery, here. Bribery and emotional blackmail. If you aren't enough of a snot to enjoy out-thinking your kids on occasion, at least you can enjoy the root beer.

Just like negative consequences flow out of the situation, so do positive ones. With our system we have 45 minutes after breakfast to do the chores that in theory can be done in less than half that time. Any leftover time you have left over is yours to do with as you see fit. The reward for doing a job in a timely manner is...time.

Which brings me back to that 6 week learning curve I mentioned in the beginning. After 6 weeks to train, to rebel, to fail and begin again, your new routine is now routine and you will have everyone playing tea party, reading, or creating Lego masterpieces by the end of 20 minutes. Usually.

Six Weeks, You Say?
You can do this. You really can. I know it's possible because it's happening right here, right now in Amarillo, Texas. It's happening because I'm not shooting for perfection in my house, merely improvement. Any progress toward the goal is counted as progress. If you can keep your sense of perspective and keep your sense of humor, it could be just enough to keep the ball rolling. Besides, six weeks from now puts you smack dab in the middle of Lent. You know how much fun Lent can be. Just consider this a head start on the sackcloth and ashes.

Happy Suffering, y'all!

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Next week: The Dice of Doom "dun-dun-duuuuuuuuun!"

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Keeping It Clean in 4 Easy (Enough) Steps

Micaela Darr, a fellow blogger over at California to Korea, inspired me to write this post. I happened on her lament "I NEED HELP MANAGING THE CHAOS!!!" while perusing through the 7 Quick Takes over at Jennifer Fulwiler's Conversion Diary last Friday. I started on a comment that grew longer and longer and longer. That comment found its final form here...

I know most people don't consider a clean house a necessity in their marriage. In fact, it is very likely not on anybody's radar when we mentally compile a list of issues contributing to marital stress, but people fight about cleanliness. They really do. I've learned, after years of pretending it wasn't so important, that it was vitally important in my own marriage and family life. After a few years experience, tons of prayer, and flying around with The Fly Lady, I've learned how to manage housework at a level that makes everyone happy, including me.

It hasn't been easy. I prefer a clean house but don't mind clutter. I will gladly scrub the toilet, sweep the floor, and wash the dishes, but as long as the pile of books by the bed is dusted, I'm content. I tend to pile things up instead of put them away. My husband can live with the grime as long as the books are back on the shelf. You get the picture. I tried to convince my husband that mine was the best method and he tried to convince me that his was the best method, sometimes nicely and sometimes not. Enter my son. He has Autism. He came along seven years ago and settled the question firmly and finally: our house shall be clean AND orderly, not either or.

Sensory overload is a moment by moment occurrence for those with Autism


Because of the Autism, neatness is vital to my son's ability to think clearly. His senses do not provide orderly input. His eyes see everything, all at once. His ears do the same. Imagine trying to think while hearing the fly buzzing like a chainsaw on the windowsill, the whine of the transmission of the car passing by, the cat breathing like Darth Vader in the corner, then imagine all this while smelling the perfume in mommy's deodorant and the dog's spit as he licks a paw and this all mixed in with the acrid stench of the soap heating up in the dishwasher as it cycles like thunder through a wash. There is no volume control; his experience of any one of his senses is almost unbearably intense. With visual order, he has more mental energy to spare. He can concentrate on filtering out the barrage of over stimulation from his other senses. Without my diligence in keeping order in my home, my son spends his energy not in play or learning but in keeping his world from spinning out of control.

Since I have scrabbled and clawed my way to a "Clean Enough" house through trial and error, let me spare you some of the effort and frustration I had to experience by sharing what I've learned and where I learned it.

1. Make a List of "Daily Dos"

 The only thing that worked for me was trial and error. For weeks on end I set a timer for an hour and cleaned everything up in the public rooms (the kitchen, living room, and dining room). I wrote down what I did, monitored my son's reaction during the day, and checked in with my husband at night. "How's this level of clean? What do you notice?" I went through the room with him with my list in hand. If he noticed a job was done, I put a check by it and kept it on my Daily Dos. If he didn't notice, I pointed out the job, asking, "Do you care that this was clean?" If the answer was, "No," that job came off the daily list and was added to a Weekly Dos. If the answer was, "No, but thank you!" it stayed on. From this process we created our list of the absolute essential, do-every-day-or-annoy-my-husband chores. It's posted on our bulletin board in pencil in case any adult needs to add to it or erase from it. Like the title Daily Do implies, we do those same little jobs every stinking day.

To give you an idea of where to start making your list, I will share with you my hard-won list and refer you to the Fly Lady Page which was the inspiration for my family's list. She has her own system and lists ready made and I highly recommend reading her philosophy on cleanliness and using her system to get the house out of chaos and into order! We started there a few years ago but had to adapt that method to our family: we needed some jobs done more frequently due to the size and needs of our family.

My Daily Dos

We start with #2 as soon as our main meal (breakfast) is done. Everybody has their list of jobs to do and everyone has 45 minutes to do it in. This list keeps our house in enough order each day that everyone is relatively happy.

1.   Come to breakfast dressed and brushed (hair and teeth)
2.   Dirty dishes to the counter
3.   Wipe table
4.   Sweep under table and wipe any spills (chairs and floor)
5.   Straighten bedrooms (make beds, sweep rooms, put away toys)
6.   Sweep every floor
7.   Vacuum living room rug
8.   Wipe down bathroom
9.   Dust a room (every room gets hit eventually, including bedrooms)
10. Breakfast dishes

Just in case you think I have my act really together,
this is the actual list, torn edges and all.



In addition to this 45 minute mad morning dash, we have two 10 minute straighten ups during the day. The kids put away all their games and toys while I fold laundry or tackle my clutter spots. Anything not picked up in that 10 minutes goes into Mommy's Basket and does not come out again until Sunday or I remember, whichever comes last.

Which brings us to tomorrow's post...

Consequences: Bad and Good.

Stay tuned for that tomorrow. For today, focus on getting your list of Must Dos together before you start thinking of all the problems that get between you and the smoothly running machine you are trying to invent!


2. Divvy It up

Dividing up the chores takes some doing and the divvy list is always flexing for several reasons: kids need to learn how to do all the jobs by the time they are ready to move out on their own and Mommy needs to do every job periodically to ensure that an "adult level of clean" is attained at least weekly. We found in the process that we had to make or buy some child-sized tools (we cut a broom down to a child's shoulder height until a Godmother bought us a real, usable child's sized broom as a gift). We also found that some tools were essential to invest in and some were not worth it. Our house has one carpet in the living room and hardwood or laminate flooring everywhere else, so we invested in brooms and floor dusters and skimped on the vacuum.

Age and Ability Guidelines
A toddler can be given a basket and with some supervision play "Put That Away" games with the toys spread on the living room floor. (Mommy or an older child can be responsible for emptying the toddler basket and putting the toys where they live.) A three year old will be able to clear the table of silverware and unbreakable plates. A four year old can dust anything that is within reach. Five-year-olds can use a dust pan and even stand on a kitchen stool to scrape food scraps off the dishes before someone older loads the dishwasher. A six year old can manage a child sized broom to sweep a room (at least as long as Mommy gets in to sweep the corners out each week). A seven year old can be trusted with a nontoxic cleaner (like vinegar and water) to wipe down counter tops and doorknobs. An eight year old can plug in and run a vacuum. A nine year old can be trusted to feed and water household pets (with supervision) and even to clean up pet related messes indoors and out.

A special note on special needs
My son with Autism has his jobs, though he requires a longer learning curve and more supervision than another child his age might. My 45 minutes of work includes working with him and his jobs. He is no different than my four other children. He will one day need to run his house, too, and every human being thrives with a healthy balance of work and leisure. Please don't forget anyone and their need to work. Work and a sense of purpose is essential to our sense of belonging and well being. Even in the Garden, Adam had his work (Genesis 2). Don't leave anyone out, no matter how much work it costs you to include them!

Get started!
I work with a child who is given a new job to show them how to do it and to put some fun into it. The first time my four year old was assigned to dust my bedroom, she was filled with stories of the objects she was dusting. In particular, my husband has a picture of his deceased sister and I have a picture of my deceased brother on our respective nightstands. As we dusted, she heard about her aunt and uncle in Heaven; she asked questions and was answered. We discovered in doing this that our daughter considered the moment a rite of passage. For the first time ever, she was allowed to touch those and other treasures. The other rooms are "kid proofed" and much less interesting for that reason, but it gives you an idea of the fruits these little labors can produce.



3. Set a Timer for 45 Minutes


The kids have their lists (which are assigned weekly) and I have mine and nothing...nothing at all...happens until those things are done. No snacks, no toys, no radio, no games, no TV time. Nothing. Nada. Zip. At the end of the time our Homeschool Day starts. If a child finishes ahead of time, that child's extra time is "Free Time" to do whatever he or she wants. Most days, after about 6 weeks or so on the learning curve, my children are done before I am and are called from leisure tasks rather than a work task to begin our Homeschool Day.
 
Remember that the entire list of jobs should take no more than 45 minutes or so for Mommy to do, so none of the individual jobs should take a child that long unless they want it to. A toddler should have one job to do. A three year old one or two. A four and five year old two or three. Nothing in combination should take a child the entire 45 minutes to do once the job is learned and done diligently. In fact, my rule of thumb is no more work than 20 minutes worth for my oldest, who is nine. My list began with what it takes me 45 minutes to do uninterrupted on my own, so in the worst of days, and these will happen on occasion, I banish everyone to their rooms with a book and do the whole list myself. Trust me, that's a treat and a break for everyone, especially Mom!

As I mentioned before, in addition to the 45 minutes in the morning, there are the two 10 minute straighten up sessions that happen each day. Ours are done before dinner and before bedtime. Mommy sets the timer and all is cleaned up or it goes into Mommy's Basket and disappears. Whichever way it happens, the mess is cleaned!

And just in case some of you noticed, I've not mentioned my husband in the chore list. My husband is the kind of person who putters constantly. The trick to get him to function at a reasonable level, is to keep him from working himself until he is worn out. When I do my jobs right, he only does his.


4. Do It Daily


This is the big part of the job, the diligence. We do this every day between breakfast and the start of our school day. The only exception is Sunday, the Lord's Day. I get these jobs done even when I am sick as a dog. Frankly, I don't want to spend my recovery trying to dig out from under the piles of undone work, so it's worth spending a little under a half hour* in the morning exerting myself when I have the flu. I make exceptions for the kids during their illnesses, but since they have to lay in bed while we clean, it is the rare Martin child who wants to be left alone for that length of time unless they are sick enough to need the sleep.

*It takes significantly less time to do this on my sick days because the kids are appealed to cut the shenanigans for the sake of their poor, sick Mother, and I do more and supervise less just to get it over with!

The system isn't perfect, but it works when we work. The house still has a few clutter spots, but I try to ensure those stay out of sight. My messy desk is purposefully located in a cubby with doors I can shut when I walk away. My pile of books by my bed now lives in the bed stand that has a door to shut them behind. Since all the jobs don't take all the time we assign to them, I can tackle problem spots each day until the problem is fixed. I don't try to do everything at once and I don't try to start with a clean slate. We started where we were with the hope and the promise of improvement over time. I can promise you, from experience, that that promise proved out. The cleanliness level has improved and is improving as we go. We're at five children now and the house is kept cleaner now than it was when we had no children. The work got harder and the job bigger, but I got smarter and more diligent.

Virtue is a merely a habit of being good. My virtue has become wrapped up in my habits of serving my family and husband in lieu of myself. Cleaning at a level I do not prefer has been my call and my cross, so for me, cleanliness really is next to Godliness. Sometimes it takes everything I can give and more.

God is where I go to find more.


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This has been a Wifey Wednesday Post. To have an even more Wifey Wednesday visit Sheila Wray Gregoire at To Love Honor and Vacuum.