Friday, May 17, 2013

7 Quick Perfectly Excusable Takes



--1--
The Explanation

The last two weeks have been busy, busy, busy. I dropped off the face of the earth, internet-wise, and thought today's Quick Takes might be a perfectly acceptable place to explain myself. But first...

--2--
Something Happened Right on Schedule


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This, I did. This Podcast right here.


--3--
Excuse #1: HIS PARENTS ARE COMING SO WHERE DO I PUT THE ALLEN WRENCHES?!

Normally the news of a visit would not be an excuse to fly into panic mode, but we are renovating. That means, for those of you who have not experienced such self-inflicted insanity, that nothing in the house actually works. This table is here because that faucet is there because that wall is torn out because that leak sprung up when that window was put in. It's one thing to inflict such minor inconveniences as stepping over hubby's toolbag to use the toilet on one's children; it is actually bordering on rudeness to ask it of one's mother-in-law. Even imagining telling her that the extra bottle of conditioner is behind the PVC adhesive in the cabinet propels one uncontrollably into the highest of gears. I can recommend panic and horror as motivators on any house project: other than one bathtub piled high with tools and spare parts ("Pay no attention to the mess behind the curtain!"), the house was ready when that lovely lady arrived.

--4--
Excuse #2: The Wedding

A dear friend's daughter pushed her wedding back 13 months. I'm on the decorating and running-with-scissors committee. The wedding is tomorrow. Need I say more?

Note to Self: Make the gluten-free wedding cake. Bake the bread.

--5--
Excuse #3: The Special Delivery

My parents are moving onto our property next week. Their house, a single wide Alaska-rated 3-bedroom trailer, was delivered the day before yesterday. Water-lines and electric lines don't dig themselves, so my husband rented a trencher. My husband, father, and father-in-law dug up the yard and laid the pipes and lines themselves.

Those of you who have worked with a trencher or have dug around existing pipes know what is coming next...

--6--
Excuse #4: The Septic Line

Yes, indeed, our septic line was nicked in the process. Busting a pipe is inevitable when heavy equipment is involved and our disaster was relatively minor. The septic line still flowed (as opposed to pooling), so there was not a lot of "mud" ("ick") to dig through. Meanwhile, mid-visit we had to ask 5 children and two mothers-in-laws to please not use the water or flush anything while we dug a big hole and ran off to the store for a pipe patch.

By the way, running to the store around here takes about as long as digging a 3'x3'x3' hole in the ground, so to move things along I dug while all the men involved ran off to consult each other and various men in orange aprons as to the appropriate response to a hole in a pipe that handles poo.

It took all day.

--7--
Excuse #5: The Braces Broke, Too

So, in order to take a mini-vacation from blogging, you must schedule an in-law visit, a house delivery, a wedding, and a trip to the orthodontist because a wire broke.

P.S. Dr. Crobin says, "Hi!"

P.S. Nobody was hurt in the process, though there were a few sore muscles.

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