Friday, February 25, 2011

Tell Him, "I still do!": A Challenge for Wives

Here's a challenge I'd like to share with you. It is counter cultural in the extreme--it's all about treating your husband with respect.

Your husband, personally, may or may not deserve respect, but then again, you may not either. If you waited to respect each other until either of you behaved up to a certain standard, respect could become rare indeed! Respect in a marriage is more about honoring the office of spouse than a particular spouse. Your particular spouse may be driving you crazy, but because of who you are, and what God set up marriage to be, you need to behave as if your spouse deserves the best from you. Your husband is a child of God, after all, so although he may or may not deserve your best, He deserves it. Think of it this way, God is your Father-in-law and he can see exactly how you are treating His child. You need to behave accordingly.

And since you are God's child as well, you need Him to worry about making sure your husband takes care of you in the same way. Treating your spouse well, without worrying about being treated well in return, is an act of Faith--not in your spouse, but in God. He will pour out Grace upon the woman who acts in such faith. Even if it is the Grace to endure while He works on your husband a bit more.

From speaker, author, and mom, Sheila Wray Gregoire To Love Honor and Vacuum

A Challenge

For the last few weeks we've been talking about how to radically transform your marriage by focusing on meeting his needs--rather than waiting for him to meet yours. I issued a challenge to all of you to do these five things for six weeks, and see what happens:

1. Thank your husband once a day for something (try to make it something different each time)
2. Compliment your husband to your mother, your children, your friends, whatever, within earshot of your husband, every chance you get.
3. Do not nag.
4. Do not give the silent treatment.
5. Make love with relative frequency (say at least 2-3 times a week).

Try it and let me know how it goes...if he notices?...if he responds? I'd love to know. I've been slipping on my personal version of this challenge, so I'm taking it as a wake-up call. This is going to be my focus for Lent this year. 


  1. Thank you! Will link on my blog!

  2. Thank you, Mel! The more of us doing this challenge, the more of us working on our marriages. The better our marriages are, the better the lives of our children are. The better the lives of our children, the better the future. We can change the world. The hand that rocks the cradle...

  3. Thanks so much for linking to my challenge! I'm interested to see what people say. Here's the post that started the whole thing!

  4. Great changing post. Can you image the rewards for the children to be raised in a marriage where this is the norm!

  5. Oh, by the way, I'm a new follower from Catholic Mothers Online. Please stop by and return the favor.

  6. @Jenny You have some stunning work on your blogs! I'm blown away! Thanks for directing me there.

    (If you are interested in finding out what I'm talking about, Click on Jenny's name and then you will see her two blogs listed on the screen that comes up.)

  7. @Sheila Thank you for coming up with this challenge. It is so timely. Like Jenny said, just imagine the improvements in the lives of children who have parents who decide that love and service are the answer to the challenges of marriage?